An Orthodox wedding gift is easiest to choose once you remember what happens in church. The couple stand before the analogion holding lit candles, crowns are held over their heads, and they drink from one common cup. The service asks God to bless a household that is only now beginning. Gifts that last tend to belong to that household's prayer: an icon, a book, something for the shelf where the family will pray.

Below are the customs around the wedding icons, the Greek traditions for sponsors, the saints often given to married couples, and ideas for friends, for an older couple and for an anniversary.

What the crowning service suggests

The Orthodox wedding is often called the Crowning. The crowns stand for the honour and the self-giving that marriage asks of husband and wife; the common cup stands for the life they will now share, its joys and its burdens. The rite ends with the couple led three times around the analogion, the first steps they take together as a family.

With that in mind, many guests look past household appliances and towards things a young family would not think to buy for itself. A couple will buy a kettle. Fewer buy an icon of Saints Joachim and Anna, or a good edition of the Psalter for evening reading.

The wedding icon pair

In Slavic Orthodox families the main wedding gift comes from the parents. Before the couple leave for church, the parents bless them with two icons: the groom with an icon of Christ, the bride with an icon of the Mother of God, most often the Kazan icon. This pair is taken to church, stands near the couple during the service, and afterwards becomes the heart of their icon corner.

When the parents live far away or are not churchgoers, godparents or close relatives often take on this role. Check first that the couple have not already bought a pair, so they do not receive two.

What to look for:

  • two icons of the same size and style, so they read as a pair;
  • a traditional image with the saint's name inscribed;
  • a size that suits a home shelf rather than a church wall.

Our icons section includes icons from the workshops of the Pskov-Caves and Danilov monasteries. They are made and consecrated in those monasteries, and each has the workshop certificate on the back.

Greek wedding gift traditions

In Greek Orthodox weddings the sponsor, the koumbaros or koumbara, has a special place. By custom the sponsor provides the stefana, the two crowns joined by a ribbon, and often the wedding candles. After the service the couple keep the stefana at home in a glass case, usually near their icons.

Guests at a Greek wedding commonly give money in a card or something for the house. For a churchgoing couple, a small icon for the new home is always welcome, and it sits well beside the stefana case.

Saints of marriage

Once the couple have their icon pair, an icon of saints honoured as patrons of marriage makes a thoughtful second gift. Three are given most often:

  1. Saints Peter and Fevronia of Murom, a married couple who lived together into old age and died on the same day.
  2. The righteous Joachim and Anna, parents of the Mother of God, to whom couples pray when they hope for children.
  3. The martyrs Gurias, Samonas and Abibus, remembered in prayers for peace in the family.

A more personal option is two icons of the spouses' own patron saints. Ask for their baptismal names: a church name sometimes differs from the one in a passport. For more on matching an image to a person and an occasion, see which icon to give.

Gifts for friends, an older couple, an anniversary

Friends who are setting up their first home together can use the basics of a prayer corner: a shelf for icons, a prayer book, church candles. If they have never arranged one, our guide to the Orthodox icon corner explains where to start.

Some couples marry in church after many years of civil marriage. They rarely need anything for the house. An icon of the saints of marriage, a fine Gospel book or a pilgrimage made together often means more to them. When grown children give a gift to their parents for such a wedding, one shared icon from the whole family works well.

Husband and wife also give each other something small on the day: a new cross to replace an old one, a prayer rope, a prayer ring with the words "Save and protect". It is worn every day and recalls the sacrament. Wedding bands themselves are bought by the couple, not by guests.

For an anniversary of the church wedding the same logic applies: an icon, a book, something for the prayer corner. The Gospel, the Psalter, prayer books, church candles and gift sets are all in our catalogue.

Choosing and sending your gift

Before ordering, find out whether the couple already have the icon pair, what their baptismal names are, how much space they have for icons, and whether they wear silver. A sacred item bought in an ordinary shop is usually taken to church to be blessed; in our catalogue each card states where the item was consecrated.

Add a card with the date of the wedding. Twenty years on, that line in your handwriting will matter to them. Ideas chosen for the sacrament are collected in wedding gifts. If the size, metal or inscription you need is not in the catalogue, the item can be made to order, and we reply within two working days with the price and the lead time. We ship from Tallinn worldwide by registered mail with a tracking number.